After Danny's release from the hospital he was put on the Homebound Program through the school system. The psychologist felt that Danny couldn't return to school without an IEP in place so he signed him out of school. This not only forced the school system to get the IEP done, BUT they had to pay for a teacher to come to my house everyday to teach my son to keep him caught up. I'm sure that program costs them a pretty penny so getting Danny the IEP was their best option.
In January 2010 the IEP evaluation was completed and now it was a waiting game to see if Danny qualified and then to get it written. The school system had 50 school days to complete this and I knew they were going to take most, if not all, of those 50 days. Now I realized that I had a time problem. March 1st our lease was going to be up on our apartment and Danny's therapist had already said to move outside of that school's district. She said that putting him back in the same school was not going to be a good idea. Maybe a new school, new kids, new teachers would give him the fresh start he needed to help him move on. I had fought so hard to get my son help from the school that moving him out of the district scared me a bit because that would be the ammunition the school needed to say that since we were moving the new school could handle the IEP and I'd have to start all over again.
I informed the school system that we were moving. They did as I thought they would and suggested that the new school write the IEP. I wrote up a new letter saying that THEY would most certainly write the IEP. I had a, "You are going to finish what you started" attitude. I didn't care if the IEP was a basic shell and we let the new school rewrite it to suit their needs and resources. I was determined to make this school recognize my son's disability and take time out of their precious schedules to attempt to help him. At the IEP meeting they didn't recognize and still won't recognize that Danny has PTSD. The school can challenge the findings from the evaluation and can fight to deny a child an IEP if they want to despite what THIER psychologist tells them. We spent an hour debating Danny's diagnosis and their argument was that a 7 year old children don't suffer from PTSD....Ummmm, ok whatever! The psychologist (THEIR psychologist) pushed for the IEP and after 1 1/2 hours of debate we finally got to write a basic IEP. As I left the building that day I felt relief knowing that I'd never ever have to deal with them again! I knew that my son would finally get the help he needed in school.... or so I thought.
March 1st we moved to a town just outside of Evansville. Danny was assigned to a school that has an "alternative learning" classroom. There are only 7 kids in the class and they are geared towards helping the kids with emotional disabilities. There is a whole reward program for good behavior and many many opportunities throughout the day to earn rewards. This new school rewrote the IEP and added things to help Danny such as having the school therapist talk with him 2 times a month. With his therapist outside of school I figured we were on the right track. I was so excited for him and I see now that I jumped the gun a bit in my excitement. I think I jinxed myself with my excitement and believing that this was what we had been waiting for and things would miraculously get better with him.
Again, I was wrong.....
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Danny math: Home = Safe
I realized that I never really described what it was that my son was doing in terms of behavior. Now all of this is what was told to me. I don't really have "bad behavior" issues at home. At home I see a typical 7 year old child that objects to doing chores sometimes and will try to argue with you over a punishment. He would/will get angry and yell at me, but I never saw the aggression or the "screaming". He could/can go to a friends house and treat everyone with respect. He could go spend the night at his best friend's house. I never doubted what the school was telling me. I never told the school that they were wrong because I just didn't see it. I knew something was wrong with Danny and I knew he was scared while he was at school. What I didn't know was how to help him.
At 7:20am everyday we would walk out to the bus stop. We lived in an apartment complex so there were other kids out there and they would all play tag and just horse around until the bus came. It wasn't until the bus rounded the corner that you would see a change in my son's demeanor. He would scream, "BUS!!" and run for the pick up spot. Once there he would hold his arms out and yell, "Mom! Mom!! MOM!!!" You could look in his eyes and see the panic/anxiety.
Once at school he would talk ALOT! He couldn't sit still and was incredibly fidgety in his seat which is why I believe that the school pushed for ADHD, but I knew it was anxiety which is why I pushed back for the IEP. There were 30 kids in his classroom and they sat in groups of 6. Danny would always do something to get his desk removed from the "group". He'd hit another child, he'd take his shoes and socks off and throw them, or he'd just have a fit. When getting his desk removed from the group wasn't enough he figured out how to get himself out of the classroom itself. At first he would throw up or get sick. When that didn't work he would throw whatever he could reach. He knew that they wouldn't want to deal with him and he knew which actions would get him removed from class. When he would be removed to the front office he would sit and do homework, reading, spelling, etc and wouldn't cause a problem. As I talked to officials about why he would work in the office I would tell them that it was because it was a quieter setting and he wasn't so anxious. It was "safe" for him to be in the office. There wasn't the fear that the kid that just walked behind him was going to hurt him.
Once at home the aggression wouldn't be there, but the anger would be. I always thought that he was angry with me for making him go to school. He'd beg to stay home, wake up and pretend to be sick, etc. There were days that I would call him absent from school because he was just so anxious that I knew it would be an issue if I forced him to go. I knew he wasn't doing this because he was a bully and he was bent on hurting someone. I fully believed that he was doing it because he was so scared and the aggression was an impulse reaction to the fear. When faced with a "fight or flight" situation my son will fight! They would back him into a corner with fear/intimidation and to protect himself he'd come out swinging.
As I continue writing this blog you'll see that his "symptoms" got worse. Like the title says this is a journey and I know we are headed down a long, winding path.
At 7:20am everyday we would walk out to the bus stop. We lived in an apartment complex so there were other kids out there and they would all play tag and just horse around until the bus came. It wasn't until the bus rounded the corner that you would see a change in my son's demeanor. He would scream, "BUS!!" and run for the pick up spot. Once there he would hold his arms out and yell, "Mom! Mom!! MOM!!!" You could look in his eyes and see the panic/anxiety.
Once at school he would talk ALOT! He couldn't sit still and was incredibly fidgety in his seat which is why I believe that the school pushed for ADHD, but I knew it was anxiety which is why I pushed back for the IEP. There were 30 kids in his classroom and they sat in groups of 6. Danny would always do something to get his desk removed from the "group". He'd hit another child, he'd take his shoes and socks off and throw them, or he'd just have a fit. When getting his desk removed from the group wasn't enough he figured out how to get himself out of the classroom itself. At first he would throw up or get sick. When that didn't work he would throw whatever he could reach. He knew that they wouldn't want to deal with him and he knew which actions would get him removed from class. When he would be removed to the front office he would sit and do homework, reading, spelling, etc and wouldn't cause a problem. As I talked to officials about why he would work in the office I would tell them that it was because it was a quieter setting and he wasn't so anxious. It was "safe" for him to be in the office. There wasn't the fear that the kid that just walked behind him was going to hurt him.
Once at home the aggression wouldn't be there, but the anger would be. I always thought that he was angry with me for making him go to school. He'd beg to stay home, wake up and pretend to be sick, etc. There were days that I would call him absent from school because he was just so anxious that I knew it would be an issue if I forced him to go. I knew he wasn't doing this because he was a bully and he was bent on hurting someone. I fully believed that he was doing it because he was so scared and the aggression was an impulse reaction to the fear. When faced with a "fight or flight" situation my son will fight! They would back him into a corner with fear/intimidation and to protect himself he'd come out swinging.
As I continue writing this blog you'll see that his "symptoms" got worse. Like the title says this is a journey and I know we are headed down a long, winding path.
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